Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
