Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
