nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
