But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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