Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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