forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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