Don't you send me to vm
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
