Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
