I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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