He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize