The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
