just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
