I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
