can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
