Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
