I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
