Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
