Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
