good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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