i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
