Where did you get a picture of my penis
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
