sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I am available for nakedness
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
