she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
