Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize