Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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