K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize