Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize