very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
