Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
