what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
