So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
