That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
