My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
