Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
