I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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