I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
