hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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