Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
