I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
