just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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