I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
And then he peed in my hair
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