Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
