Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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