I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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