that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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