Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
