Where is the hickey?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My vagina is officially offended.
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