According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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