I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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