Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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