In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
