Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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