What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
