so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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