Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
