if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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