I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
