I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
