Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize